**Please welcome my first guest blogger, my dad! A very happy 40th anniversary to him and my mom!**
Ahh!
40 years! To some it would seem a very long time. But for me, having
married to this crown jewel of a partner, forty years seems to have
passed with little more than a blink of my eyes. I can still remember
vividly standing in front of the County Magistrate nervously uttering
the words “I Do”. At that moment, deep down “Something Tell Me I’m Into
Something Good” (Herman’s Hermit ’65). Never in my wildest dreams could I
have imagined that I have actually lucked myself upon the mother lode
of love, care, trust, understanding and support.
Actually,
this bull run of good fortune started a little bit more than 40 years
ago when she went against her family’s wishes (such courage, almost
unheard of in a first generation immigrant family back in the 70’s),
left New York and joined this “punk named Leung”, according to my future
brother-in-law, in Columbia, Mo. With her support, within a very short
time, we were able to prove them wrong.
Over
the better part of the next forty years, while I was out trying to
conquer the world of civil engineering with a new venture in KHAFRA:
“when you flush, think of us” (thanks to Val Bates), she was home
holding down the fort and raising two wonderful children and hardly
needing me to worry about them. AND THEY BOTH TURNED OUT TO BE QUITE
ALRIGHT.
Through
all the career and physical location moves to new and unfamiliar
places, she never once asked questions like “what about my friends, my
neighbors, my bridge club meetings, etc, etc. More than that, her trust,
understanding, and support have made it so much easier for me to
maintain my sanity during stressful times. And there were plenty. When
KHAFRA was young and struggling, several times I had to ask for her
consent to put our resources, including our own house, at risk to help
KHAFRA get over a few humps. She said yes without giving me a nano-ounce
of grief. She didn’t even ask if I was making the right decision. Such
trust, such understanding and such support, it don’t get no better than
that!!
No less
important, during these forty years, she has afforded me the peace and
tranquility of a home life that many men can only dream of while they
are sleeping. We seldom fought, a fact that Kevin claimed to be not
normal. I can count the number of times that we had real serious
disagreements with both hands and still have quite a few fingers to
spare. On the rare occasion that we do “disagree”, the most amazing
thing about her is that by the next morning she has already forgiven and
forgotten.
Nobody
is perfect. Neither she nor I are perfect. That she is not perfect is a
blessing for me, if she were perfect, would anyone believe that I’ll be
the one to have deserved these 40 years of such good fortune? I suspect
NOT! Separately, we are two very imperfect people, but we are perfectly
matched together. Her stubbornness (after all she is an ox by her birth
sign) and lack of mechanical inclinations have perfectly complemented
my “go with the flow” attitude and lack of culinary skills for the past
40 years. She Is Perfect For Me.
So,
on this 40th Anniversary, TO LILLIAN: A Toast to say I LOVE YOU!! A
Great Big Hug and Kiss to thank you for the wonderful forty years past,
and all I wish for is you telling me “WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN” (The
Carpenters or, strictly speaking, Paul Williams ’70).
And one final thought, people have often asked me what our secret is: two words: Yes, ma’am.
This
year has been a year of fives. Hubs completed his PhD after five long
years of blood, sweat, and tears; and a bit of hard work and
determination on his part. This month has marked the fifth month that we
have had to live apart because of his new job and the hassles of
selling a house in this horrendous market and waiting for benefits to
become available after a 90 day waiting period. It took us 5 months to
sell our house. But, most importantly, today marks our 5th wedding
anniversary. It is so hard to believe that 5 years has gone by since our
wedding and 12 years since our first date. When I look back on our day,
it’s almost sort of a blur because it went by so fast, but there are
moments that will stay with me forever. So, in honor of our year of
five, I give to hubs, my 5 best memories of our wedding.
I
remember just feeling so excited to finally be getting married and
taking that next step. Even after being together for so long before
getting married, it was still exciting to know that we were finally
getting our forever.
There
hasn’t really been another time that I have been so emotional that I
would risk crying in public. I remember that when my dad was walking me
down the aisle, and I was looking at hubs smiling at me, that I was just
so overcome with happiness that I had to take a few deep breaths so
that my professionally applied makeup would not be ruined.
I
remember being nervous. Not nervous, as in cold feet nervous, just
nervous in being in front of everyone and the fear of tripping or
messing up my vows. As soon as I got to hubs and took his hand, all the
nervousness melted away. We were in this together.
I
remember many of our guests telling me how big hubs’s smile was when
the doors first opened, and I started my processional.
I remember our first dance and how hubs sacrificed his sense of
self-preservation to endure a 4 minute song because I loved it and
wanted it to be our song.
Finally,
I remember just looking at him and thinking how lucky am I that this
man is mine? A man, who was smart enough, to not only earn a PhD in
Finance, but to know to acknowledge my birthday (Feb 13) and Valentine’s
Day as two separate occasions, even though he didn’t have to. This man
who takes care of me, indulges my outrageous hypotheticals, makes me
laugh whether I want to or not, and just plain loves me.
Happy Anniversary to my hubs. 5 years married, 12 years together. I love you, and look forward to the rest of our forever.
**I
have struggled to find the right words to truly express just how
devastating this loss is to our dance family at the Duluth School of
Ballet, so apologies for the extreme stream-of-conciousness rambling.
I have been very fortunate in my life that I have not had to deal
extensively with the pain and loss that is associated with the death of a
loved one. I only know what I have seen close friends experience. That
all changed earlier this month when I came home from work, and my mom
said that she had something to share with me. Never in my wildest
imagination did I expect to hear the words that came out of her mouth:
“Mr. Peter passed away.”
I
was in disbelief. Peter was the character in your life that you thought
would outlive everyone and be there for years and years so that he
would be there to teach our kids. He teased me when he did the
photography for my wedding that I would need to get started on the next
generation of DSB dancers right away so that studio could stay in
business.
Peter
was my very first ballet teacher, and to be frank, he scared the bejesus
out of me. He was very no nonsense and didn’t take any crap that tends
to come out of adolescent girls. I understand now that what was once
seen as plain ol’ mean was really a lesson in self-discipline, not only
in the studio but in all aspects of our lives.
When
my mom started working at the studio, and before I could drive myself
home, I would be there after everyone had left and was fortunate enough
to have those few moments to just hang out with him. He challenged me
one year to a chopstick contest, as he was going to a Chinese New Year
banquet with my family, to see who could move the smallest item from
their plate to the other person’s plate. Unfortunately, we didn’t get
the chance to play, but I’m pretty sure that he would have beaten me as
my skills are adequate at best. But it’s the little memories like those
that are unique and special to each of his students that demonstrate why
everyone loved him so.
Over
the years, I always heard parents ask him why he never formed a company
through the school, and his answer was always the same. He understood
that not every little girl or little boy that walked through those doors
wanted to be a ballerina or professional dancer, and that 99% of those
students probably would never get anywhere near the professional level,
but he guaranteed that 100% of those students would learn to love the
art of dance. I always appreciated that he just wanted us to love
dancing wherever it took us in life.
Pliés,
pirouettes, and grande battements weren’t the only things that I
learned in that studio. The life lessons that I didn’t understand how
important they were as a teenager, I will always have with me as an
adult. Trying to control a room full of girls, I think he groaned out,
“don’t be an aural nuisance,” more than he cared to. He would always say
it with a sly grin because he thought he was being so clever with
saying “aural” and instead of “oral”. He would always quiz us on the
difference just to drive his point home. I can hear his voice in my head
sitting in my meetings when someone just can’t seem to be quiet.
He
was fiercely adamant that his students not be “sheep”- if you’re going
to make a mistake, make your own mistake and not someone else’s. Lord, I
learned that one quickly. One time, when I wasn’t sure of a
combination, I started to move one way, and noticed that someone else
was doing something differently, so I adjusted and started following
them, and boy did he call me out. He made me finish my initial movement
and then promptly announced that had I not been acting like a sheep, I
would have been correct. Message received, Mr. Peter. Loud and clear.
Always
finish. He was forever on us to never slop out of a turn, combination,
whatever. You always finish no matter how behind you are or how badly
you think you did it. Always finish.
Peter’s
dedication to his students went far beyond weekly classes. When I asked
him to help me for a summer program that I was interested in, he not
only picked out a dance for me to do, he arranged it so that it would
suit my strengths. And then he worked with me for several weeks after
class to set it and perfect it. He also coached me on the interview
portion in which he gave me the best life lesson I could have ever
gotten from him, “Don’t tell them what you think they want to hear. Just
be honest, and be yourself.”
I
believe that what endeared Peter to me and all of his students was that
he saw in each us, what we couldn’t see for ourselves. There was no
such thing as “I can’t” in his studio. You had better duck for cover if
those words were ever spoken in his presence. He taught us, he
encouraged us, he laughed with us, he teased us, he worried for us, and
just in general, he loved us like we were all his own children. He was
always saying that he didn’t need any more children because he had all
of us.
I know
that for the rest of my life I will always cringe at the word “recital”.
Peter Garick did not put on recitals, they were performances, and how
dare anyone suggest otherwise. They were some of the best times of my
life. There is a reason why all the seniors are sobbing uncontrollably
at the end of the last show.
I credit this man for my love of the musicals Yankee Doodle Dandy and
Singin’ In the Rain, which he introduced at the Summer Movie Nights
along with all sorts of useless trivia facts about them that has earned
many points on the occasional trivia night.
He is the sole reason for life-long love (read: obsession) of dance and anything involving tutus and pointe shoes.
He is the link for not just mine, but many decades old friendships.
And
while he may not have a child to carry on his name, his legacy is the
hundreds of students who lovingly called him Mr. Peter even years after
they have since graduated and continued to love dance.
So,
thank you, Mr. Peter, for allowing me the privilege to share in your
dream and to be a part of your dance family. You are greatly missed, but
not forgotten.
A few weeks into the new year, and I am finally getting back on track. I
completely went off the deep end in terms of being totally unhealthy. I
wasn't exercising. I was eating everything I shouldn't have been
eating. And I've got the tighter pants and the enhanced chest area to
prove it.
Hubs and I finally got our act together and went grocery shopping to get
back to making our weekly meals. I do have to admit that this week's
menu is not as Paleo as it could be, but I found these recipes on
Oprah.com, and had to try them. I definitely tweaked to make them as
Paleo as possible, but there were some things that I wasn't confident
trying off-recipe to make them truly Paleo.
For breakfast:
Lemon-Pear Breakfast Bread
These were the substitutions that I made:
- 1/2 cup canola oil (I subbed olive oil for this)
- 1/2 cup honey (I subbed raw agave nectar for this)
- 1 cup purchased pear puree (I subbed pear baby food for this)
Results: It looked a little like meatloaf. Not golden like the picture,
but my concoctions never end up like the picture. But the taste was not
bad. A little dense, but definitely a filler in the morning.
For lunch, my usual sweet potato chicken corn chowder, except without
the corn and the onion. I was such a space case at the store that I
completely forgot the frozen corn and onion. It was so crowded, I just
wanted to get the heck out of dodge.
For dinner:
Chicken, mushroom, spinach lasagna
My substitutions:
- 1 1/2 lbs mushroom, brushed clean and sliced (I cheated and just got the pre-sliced, pre-washed mushroom carton)
- 2 medium heads radicchio (I changed this out for spinach. Not a big
fan of radicchio. Always get more spinach that you think you need, it
always wilts down into almost nothing).
- 1 Tbsp chopped fresh sage leaves (I left this out. Sage is always so overpowering to me).\
- 1/3 cup all purpose flour (I subbed the whole-wheat flour for this).
- 4 cups 2% milk (I subbed 3 cups of chicken stock and 1 cup of whole milk for this)
- 1 container part-skim ricotta cheese (I subbed cottage cheese).
Results: I am going to have to play around with the sauce. But not bad for the first time out with so many changes.
So, if you're trying to also get your act together and be healthier, at
least until February, what are some of your go-to recipes?
